To Rome With Love (2012)

Woody Allen, Alec Baldwin, Ellen Page, Jesse Eisenberg, Penelope Cruz, Roberto Benigni

3 quick facts about Hollywood:

1. Everyone is at least a little weird.
2. Age has little to no impact on romantic pairings, both on screen and in real life.
3. Everyone seems to jump at the chance to work in a Woody Allen movie.

In spite of all this...is no one still creeped out by the fact that he married his daughter? SERIOUSLY, IS NO ONE CREEPED OUT BY THE FACT THAT HE MARRIED HIS DAUGHTER???

But looking past the actor's personal lives (ahem, ahem, Alec Baldwin)...

This movie is one of those movies that follows a number of different people's lives, and therefore has a number of story lines running simultaneously. The best one is Roberto Benigni's for two reasons:

1. I spent about ten minutes trying to figure out how I knew him. When I finally figured it out, all I could think about was this moment. How could you not love this guy?
2. His story line mocks the entire Kardashian family. Well, really, anyone that's famous for no reason, but I'd like to think Woody Allen is specifically targeting the Kardashians for their utter lack of shame. And talent. In anything.

I probably would have rated this movie quite a bit higher if it hadn't been for Jesse Eisenberg and Ellen Page. First of all, is it possible for anyone to watch Jesse Eisenberg in a movie and not think of him as Mark Zuckerberg the entire time?? And while one of my biggest pet peeves in life is people who talk too slowly, I think Jesse could afford to slow down a bit. He always sounds like he's in a rush to finish his lines and get to the bathroom or something. And yes, Ellen Page is adorable in Juno. But seeing as that movie is like, six years old now, can we move past that? Casting her as some kind of sex magnet is not just creepy (because she still looks like a 16 year-old), but flat-out wrong.

Final word: Totally and completely average, like all of the actors in this movie.